Growing Up

When I was a child I longed for the days when I would be an independent woman; not answering to my parents and having money to buy myself clothes of my choice and live my life as I choose. Then at eighteen I moved to Cape Town from Botswana to bridge my way into university. I was the boss of my own life, and it was great. I remember every time I received my allowance together with the other children from Botswana who were on the same scholarship, we would go shopping, get drunk and spoil ourselves a little with fancy take-aways and snacks. We were not as responsible as we thought we were, but who cares at that age. All that mattered to us then was that Mummy and Daddy are not around to tell us not to go clubbing.

Somewhere at the back of my mind I longed for the days where I would be grown, independent this time of social pressures, and more self assured and of course with more money. I saw myself married and at peace, never having to worry about if a boy likes me back or not. What a beautiful life it seemed to be from that young mind's perspective. And indeed it is.

Here I am now, married and free and fully independent. I make decicions not based on what my parents or friends expect, but based on what I believe to be right. No more spending money on alcohol because it's the cool thing to do. I live my quiet life as I like it and occasionaly invite society, friends of course, into my space for some sweet adult enjoyment. How much more peaceful a life of independence is when one has grasped independence's true meaning.

And do I consider myself now completely independent? No. I do not even want to anymore. I love to be dependent on God, and to answer to him and be corrected by him. And I love to know that my husband can instruct me and I must listen, not as to a parent but as to one dependent on God and his word for full guidance. And God being the Sweetheart he is, gave me the sweetest man on the planet for me to submit to. And we submit to one another.

And now, I do not long for any other days, but I look forward to the future while enjoying the present and making the most of it. Being a mother, a businesswoman, a community care giver, a grandmother someday... it will all come at its ready time and I will someday testify that dreams do come true. Never cease to dream because of little failures. If you ever look back, do it only to gather strength as you see how much improvement you have made on your life, from childhood to now. Then keep looking forward while still being careful to enjoy the present moment. Remember that your life is now.

If you were to die now, your future plans will not go on record, but you will be remembered for what you did at present. So maximize this very moment and give life your best.