The Woman I Admire

The woman I admire, She is not an academic,
Not even a humanitarian or celebrity
She goes to work in the morning and comes home late sometimes
Back to her quiet house to watch tv.
I never said she was perfect,
Who in this world is anyway,
She just has something about her,
A certain...strength of character
Well, she's like a teabag
That's been dipped in hot water
Not once or twice, several times
It takes a strong flavour to still be going strong
After all that dipping
It takes a strong woman
And that she is
And for that she will get her reward
Rest, peace, love, joy,
And whatever good thing you can think of
She will taste the milk and honey
That flows from the land
In this very land of the living
A flower.

Something to read: The Great Gatsby

I look forward to watching The Great Gatsby, the movie. I enjoyed the book by  F. Scott Fitzgerald as it was not the usual novel with a 'moral' at the end. Just some good old action and suspense, and a rather unfair ending too! I'd fill you in but I'm not the best book reviewer around, it feels like schoolwork to me ;). If you haven't read it, get it or borrow it from the library and start reading, even if you don't like reading, just give it a try and tell me how you find it. I bet you'll love it!

The Woman In The Taxi

This world is full of such amazing people, I just can't help but be joyful each day as I meet interesting people, even if for a brief moment. Today in the taxi a woman sat next to me, she must be in her late forties, but she was in school uniform, wearing a jacket over it so I never even noticed until much later. She started talking to me, as these older women like to do in taxis. We drove past a building with a AVBOB sign and she asked me if I have ever been there, pointing to the building. I said no, and she said, "Sho! It's where they cremate people. You'll hear a crackling sound, then another one, as the bones burn to ashes, then a final loud crack!" and she went on, "They only allow family there."

She was sipping on a can of coke with a straw, quite like a child would. And I responded with a little shock and interest in her more than her story. Was she telling me that she had lost someone in her family? Well, then it's good of her to use such opportunities to talk about it, strangers are less critical, I thought to myself. She continued to tell me that she was from school, a total diversion and a very random one. That's what I enjoyed about my brief experience of meeting this woman whose name I do not know. She uncovered her jacket to show me that she was wearing uniform. It was the usual check skirt, green, with a white shirt and a deep green tie. I was like, wow, that's great! I really meant it. So she told me her younger brother had gone to the same school, and even her uncle and aunt and cousins. She was really proud of the school that she even told me it's name. I forgot it. For me the name was not important, she was the most important person at that moment, the most interesting and amazing person. I smiled and she said, "Yes! I go to school!" with such pride that I just couldn't help but love her. Then a bit of silence, and she went on, based on my accent from our previous conversation, "Where are you from?"

I said Botswana. And with the most adorable expression of surprise or shock she said, "Where in Botswana?" I said Gaborone. "Yho! You look like my relatives, my uncle's children. What's your name? I told her and she told me their surname, hoping I might say I know them and we are related. Ah, time up, I had to get off the taxi.

I thought about her for a very long time. I wondered about her school, about her relatives in Botswana, and about her relative who got cremated. My thoughts from that moment were somehow linked to the encounter I had with her, and I was happy. So maybe after sharing this experience with you I will move on to other thoughts :)

Between Here and There

At the border gate, Death on the other side, and me, in no-man's-land. It seems harder to catch my breath; it slips out easily and comes back in with a painful effort. It is life isn't it? Easily lost to waste, and with difficulty brought back to order. Well, that is me before it ended.

I lie there in a pool of my own substance, thick and fluid at the same time, like custard powder, like lead. The deep colour clings to my clothes and makes me feel sticky and dirty. I shouldn't touch it, I know better than that! I knew better when I was younger, but now that I am grown this thing called purpose possesses me and I live for it, and now die for it, if indeed I die. It's the fault of this adult thing that I lie in my own... I can't stand that word, not when it is outside the body. I lie in my own deep colour. I can't tell if it's maroon or black, it is ugly. If you have seen things in this life you will know what I mean.

The shooting continues from a distance and I am not afraid. I lie there like a hero, seeming to give up but determined to live. And living becomes harder as I take each excruciating breath. The blood, oh how I shiver at the thought, it oozes out of a hole in my stomach, and more in my eye. The pain is not unbearable, it is beyond that, it is now necessary; the less I feel pain, the more I am certain that I am slipping away. And I cannot, not just yet.
I take a deep breath occasionally to force that life inside me, to feel pain and be hopeful. And now it slips out mockingly, all I  feel is cold and hot at the same time. Such a strange thing it is to die, to see your mind becoming nearly blank, and your emotions almost irrelevant. To see everything slip away into nothingness.

I hear voices over me, they seem happy with the battle, they are going to win and fulfill purpose. And my husband stands there smiling, and I want to be there for him but now I am tempted to release all and follow the peace and quiet. He needs me at that point more than I him. I take that deep breath, like gulping down pain, and try to hold it in. More pain. I release and repeat with shorter intervals until I gain the courage to turn my head slightly.

"She just moved!"

That's my husband with a panic in his voice.

But, I thought I saw him smile. Now he moves around frantically not knowing what to touch and what to leave alone. Now he begins to pray in the spirit but it's as though he is saying to me, "Wake up, you are not dead. Receive the strength of the Lord Jesus, receive it now! Get up young woman, the battle is not over yet, you are needed on the battlefield."

That's what I hear, so I try to smile. I know I have to endure the pain, it is not yet time to slip away to the other side. So instead I wake up, I uncover my head from the deprived blanket, and open my eyes to see my husband standing over me.

"Wake up Ms T" He says with a smile.

Brrrr....

It's hard to wake up in the morning in winter, but nothing beats knowing that you have maximised your day and owe it nothing. As you have heard before, 'time waits for no man', so let's get working ladies and gentlemen... you will get your reward in due season!

Attracting Opportunities

So things are not so great now, you are not where you though you'd be and everyone else around you seems to be progressing but you. Well, your noticing that is a sign that the pity party must end now. Enough of comparing yourself with others, enough of complaining, it's now time to take matters into your own hands and do whatever it takes to get yourself out of the situation you are in.

Always remember, there is no such thing as luck. You are responsible for creating opportunities for yourself, or rather for attracting opportunities and for your own progress. And how exactly do you do that? The first thing is to realise that you are in control. No one has a remote control over your life, not even God. God has done his part, he has put in you all that you need to excel in your life and prosper. You are the one in control of your life.

The second thing is to realise that your thoughts are not insignificant; in fact it is your thoughts that have directed your vocabulary and actions to keep you where you are now, an it is your thoughts that can get you out. That means that if you can expose yourself to great things, read and listen to people that inspire you and change your negative thought pattern to a positive, 'I can do all things' kind of attitude, you will begin to first of all feel better, have a better picture of yourself and your future, and you will begin to confess good things about where you want to be.

This tongue might be small but the bible makes us aware that the power of life and death lies in the tongue. You can kill your own destiny with your tongue, and you can bring life to dead situations and dead dreams with your tongue. It is up to you how you choose to use your tongue; whether for you or against you. You might have heard about positive speaking and thought, it is just motivational speakers trying to psyche people up. Well let me tell you that it is not psyche, it is a principle from the bible which always works. Add actions to your confessions and see just how much in control you are.

To test this, you can refuse to change your thoughts, speech and actions, and you will notice that you will not progress. Then try changing your thoughts, start speaking positively about your life and your future, and start taking actions towards developing yourself as a person (it could be reading, doing a course, going back to the gym, nurturing your gift, praying), see how you begin to feel more refreshed and inspired, how you feel more alive and how much more in control you become. That is the perfect environment opportunities are attracted to, so keep doing what you can and being expectant and see how much better your life becomes!

Talk to Him

If God is your father, you don't need to always be so formal with him. Sometime just share your hopes and dreams with him, he is always ready to listen to you and loves it when you talk to him, but instead, we love to go around sharing our thoughts with people who couldn't care less. God loves the sound of your voice and when you talk to him he really appreciates it. Tell him, "Father (Dad/Papa/Daddy/Baba etc.), I am really excited about my son's first day at school, I look forward to the days when we will take him around the world for his school vacations, and... I look forward to the future Father, and it makes me so glad to know that not only are you a part of my future, but you have great plans for me!" How sweet that sounds to God's ear. He's not always waiting to hear you say "Oh God, when you increase me I will build a hospital in the village!" No, he knows your heart, many say that to bribe him and he can't even trust them with the little they have. Be sincere and develop a love relationship with God.
When you learn to talk to God like that, you will see how much more real he becomes to you and how much less you begin to rely on human approval. He loves you too much to ignore you, give it a try and tell me how it goes!