My Farmhouse & Cave

I used to feel bad for not having ambitions like my friends. I wanted to do well in life and to have a beautiful home but no matter how hard I tried, the picture of myself in a pencil skirt with a corner office at the 12th floor just never seemed true. I did at some times have that picture but my gut told me I was deceiving myself.

I have read somewhere that as people grow older they become more sure of themselves, that women in their thirties are more confident and sure. Obviously, the average woman by the time she is thirty has stabilised in her career, has a husband or "lifetime partner", maybe even a child or a couple of children. These things mean that one is no longer wondering what their life will be like, they are already living their life. I am not yet in my thirties but have grown to have that peace within me that these thirty something women are said to have. I stopped creating images in me that do not match with who I am and what God has called me to do, and that is what gave me peace. I am now in love with the true picture: not a pencil skirt but pants and a blazer; a beautiful farmhouse with lots of land, and other details of this true picture which definitely will not be an office on the 12th floor. It's beautiful but it's not me. My office is not just beautiful, it's peaceful, fresh and stimulating. It reflects the person I am; unpretentious, loving, warm and simply elegant.

Discovering this about my nature really gave me great joy. That I am a mother, a wife, a sister, a lover, a friend and my office must reflect these dear things about me. For me these are not just roles I play, I serve the community not as one serving the 'poor little things' but as a mother doing what is expected of her by her children in the community. I talk to women as sisters, and not as a learned one shedding light and hoping they can understand what 'these things mean'.

That is my portion and I love to know it and live it. And if you are wondering where the big farmhouse will come from with such a profitless passion, wonder no more. The profit is plenty here, not financially but I consider being fulfilled as priceless profit, God will add all these things unto me. I trust Him.