My Sunday

I worked with children again today, a larger group this time and it was hectic! I enjoyed the challenge but I have learnt that being older does not qualify you to work with children. No, it takes a lot more than that! You have to first of all want to have an impact in their lives. That will be the driving force behind you when the children get difficult, because they will. You also have to be firm yet patient, and you have to understand how children think.

I am working with children from various backgrounds. Some of them grew up in Christian homes and some of them call the orphanage they come from their home. I have to bring them all to one level of having a personal relationship with God. Ok well, that's not what I have been asked to do but that's what I desire to achieve. I am actually assigned sort of as their drama teacher. I am supposed to identify the talented ones and help bring out their gift and prepare them to perform before the church.

I love art and it's an exciting opportunity for me because I get to work with a few other people who are passionate about art as well as saving souls! Together we will pray for these precious children and allow God to use us to reach them and introduce Jesus to them! Pray with me friends and let's all contribute our bit towards the ultimate assignment.

Love Tumisang

It's a new day. Make the most of it; love, believe, learn and explore! God has given you the gift of life, it is now up to you to live it!

Exploring Cultures

My grandmother told me she was Mozambican, my grandfather was Mokalaka from Botswana. That's on my mothers side. My other grandmother was Molete from Botswana, and I recently learnt that my grandfather was Ndebele from Zimbabwe. What does that make me? Well, I'm just a girl who grew up in Gaborone and came to study in South Africa where I met my Swati Husband who apparently looks just like me.

Aside from reading, one thing I absolutely love is exploring different cultures. I love to learn how different we all are and how very alike we are still. I like to observe a people from a distance and come up with my own assumptions only for me to get closer and realise that there is more, much more than my little ideas of who Nigerians are, who Zambians are, or Canadians. Those are titles of pieces of land surrounded by a fence.

There is more to a culture than national names. Within that large group there are smaller communities, they identify with one another some because of language, some because of religion and some culture. It is all so varied and dynamic that no book can explain a people to you. If you want to explore people, live with them, interact with them and learn from them. How pleasurable human studies are. I am talking about those one takes upon himself to broaden his mind. After you have begun you will realise that you have taken a climb out of the box and out there there are people roaming the world, not boxed in to a name or set identity.

People

It's just too amazing how God places people in our lives at every phase. They all make some impression in our hearts and then a time comes to let go, but even then you are assured that you will never be left all alone.

21st Century Friendships

In this age we need to be careful not to let our valued relationships be as shallow as society has become. We need to consciously decide to give attention to the people in our lives rather than just "hanging out" while each person is busy on their phones or scratching the surface with baseless questions about current politics returned with polite and vague answers which are careful not to offend.

I know from experience that opening yourself up to people can be a painful experience because any day those people can walk out of your life or even worse betray you. I know the pain of opening yourself up and being hurt. But still, deep inside me I know that I cannot ever give up on relationships because of the bad experiences I have had. I know that my opening up to one person can be deliverance to them. Someone out there just needs to know that they are not the only ones experiencing some pains and disappointments in this world where social media paints a perfect picture of all lives. They are almost giving up because they are isolated; they have friends who seem so wonderfully perfect in all ways and never let out a hint of their challenges.

It is good for one to be positive at all times and to be discreet, but be discerning and learn to read people. Know when your friends are in pain and address it, know when they are just tired and be considerate, also know when they are deliberatelly shutting you out and back off.

A Little Headturn

Growing Up

When I was a child I longed for the days when I would be an independent woman; not answering to my parents and having money to buy myself clothes of my choice and live my life as I choose. Then at eighteen I moved to Cape Town from Botswana to bridge my way into university. I was the boss of my own life, and it was great. I remember every time I received my allowance together with the other children from Botswana who were on the same scholarship, we would go shopping, get drunk and spoil ourselves a little with fancy take-aways and snacks. We were not as responsible as we thought we were, but who cares at that age. All that mattered to us then was that Mummy and Daddy are not around to tell us not to go clubbing.

Somewhere at the back of my mind I longed for the days where I would be grown, independent this time of social pressures, and more self assured and of course with more money. I saw myself married and at peace, never having to worry about if a boy likes me back or not. What a beautiful life it seemed to be from that young mind's perspective. And indeed it is.

Here I am now, married and free and fully independent. I make decicions not based on what my parents or friends expect, but based on what I believe to be right. No more spending money on alcohol because it's the cool thing to do. I live my quiet life as I like it and occasionaly invite society, friends of course, into my space for some sweet adult enjoyment. How much more peaceful a life of independence is when one has grasped independence's true meaning.

And do I consider myself now completely independent? No. I do not even want to anymore. I love to be dependent on God, and to answer to him and be corrected by him. And I love to know that my husband can instruct me and I must listen, not as to a parent but as to one dependent on God and his word for full guidance. And God being the Sweetheart he is, gave me the sweetest man on the planet for me to submit to. And we submit to one another.

And now, I do not long for any other days, but I look forward to the future while enjoying the present and making the most of it. Being a mother, a businesswoman, a community care giver, a grandmother someday... it will all come at its ready time and I will someday testify that dreams do come true. Never cease to dream because of little failures. If you ever look back, do it only to gather strength as you see how much improvement you have made on your life, from childhood to now. Then keep looking forward while still being careful to enjoy the present moment. Remember that your life is now.

If you were to die now, your future plans will not go on record, but you will be remembered for what you did at present. So maximize this very moment and give life your best.

Care for Dear Earth

I hope that for this year's Christmas we all resolve to do less harm to the environment than we did last year. I hope that the extreme climate changes have made us realise how serious and rapid global warming is taking place. I hope that even us believers are interested not only in preserving our spirits but also in taking part in matters that affect this earth we live in, for our children and our children's children's sake. No one is exempt from this responsibility; let's care for earth and make the right choices.

Grandma on Christmas

My grandmother was a tiring woman when she was alive. She shouted at us when we were being naughty and beat us up rarely when we outdid ourselves in behaving like rascals. She loved us with all her heart, which was so big it had enough space to love many other people who were not family. I remember how every Christmas we'd look forward to her yummy over-decorated cake that we had after our big meal on the dinner table.

It was a good quality wooden dinner table with eight chairs. Very lovely and tasteful. There were more than eight of us, so my aunties and all the other older people would sit on the other chairs while we felt like royalty at the high table. I remember how we would be dressed in our new clothes and have a special prayer before lunch thanking God for the past year. Grandma would also make requests for God to keep us safe the following year and for us to do well at school. Then we would indulge in the feast with our eyes fixed on the main reward for finishing our food; the cake.

On Christmas day Grandma was at her best behaviour. She would speak to us with unusual patience and kiss us all and love us so much we could see it through her eyes. On Christmas day we would forget about her disturbing habit of spoiling our fun when we re being naughty, and for that one day we would understand that she truly loved us, even more than our own parents - it seemed.

After having our feast we were taken for a drive by our uncle. All of us at the back of the van so that everyone would see our new clothes. We chattered all we pleased without being told we are making noise, and we pointed at the other children on our way, also dressed in their best clothes, and we'd shout out to them, "Happy-eeeee!" and they would respond "Happy-eee!" as they looked on with envy. Because we were in a van, and there were many of us, so the other children surely wished they were like us. Vanity crept in from an early age for us.

Us in our best clothes, at our best behaviour, even the boys did not get their clothes dirty on Christmas day. The older people by afternoon had usually started drinking their beer. Almost every adult in my family drinks beer, or wine, or ciders. It's all ok as long as you are not in primary school. As soon as you pass that stage, you begin to hide it in juice bottles and think that no adult will see you. And the good thing is that the adults would see you and pretend to be ignorant. They liked to see us become worn out like them. I saw it in the way they said with a sly smile on their faces, "you think you are smart hey, I hope you are not drinking beer in that bottle". Why didn't they check?

As it became dark the speakers were taken outside and the music was blasted. The sounds of Brenda Fassie drawing the neighbours one by one into our big yard, as big as my grandma's heart. We would all be dancing, no child no adult. All of us persuaded by Brenda's charm, or Platform No.1's wedding tunes. We danced, they drank, and we realised that they were doo drunk to care what we did so we did quite a lot. We would go to grandma's room where all the goodies were hidden so that we do not abuse them. We stole what we could, we went to the fridge to drink milk from the carton, we fought, we went wild with excitement. 

We woke up the next day in our Christmas clothes, sleeping on top of one another, in no order and with no care in the world. Every 26th of December we woke up late. The whole house except for Grandma. She always sat by her chair in the sitting room, always listening to the radio with a cup of tea in her hand. Always greeting us in the sweetest way, not even our own mothers did that. "Hello ngwanaka" "Hello pinkie" "Hello baby" "Hello ponka" "Hello my chocolate" "Hello mama" "Hello papa" as we each walked out from the bedroom hungover from playing, dresses wrinkled up. No one shouts at us for sleeping in our clothes on the 26th of December. Everybody is hungover and everybody understands.

Those were the best Christmas days of my life. Church in the morning, big lunch, pretty dresses, food, and my Grandma's love. She is now gone to rest forever, left so gently like a child. I was grown when she left, loving her back and begging God to keep her. I couldn't imagine life without her love. I couldn't imagine what would bring us together again besides her funeral. Cousins, uncles, friends, everyone misses her. And on Christmas day, everyone thinks about her and talks about "back in the good old days". No longer together, each family makes their own plans, each teenager her own ways, and no one really cares. Grandma is gone.

Spiritual Man

I know many Christian ladies have this idea that they don't want a man who is 'too spiritual'. For me, my husband's spirituality is exactly the most important reason I agreed to marry him. I love him, I am very attracted to him, but how many people have I been attracted to and 'loved' before? From the time I reached puberty attraction to a man, or boy at that time was the most natural thing ever. And the feeling of being in love was just as natural. So if making a lifetime decision is going to be based on feelings, then it's a gamble. I decided to go the safer way and trust God to lead me to the right man for me.

I knew without a single doubt that this man is a gift from God, and today as he encourages me with scriptural words, without even knowing that I am discouraged, I just feel like God is saying to me, "I love you, I will always be here to help you". I would have never had this deeply intimate relationship with my husband if our relationship was only physical and emotional. I had to first be a spiritual woman who works on her intimacy with God through worship, prayer and service, always seeking to please my God. And while I was busy with my God, the man I was to get married to was also busy building his relationship with God, learning to be led by Him and to depend on him. Now that we are together, we are both confident that God who brought us together will never leave us nor forsake us.

It started with me saying: God, I am tired of living a sinful life. Forgive me and save me. I know that Jesus is your Son and I can get to You though him, I believe he died on the cross for me and is now risen.

I sincerely wanted to surrender my life to God because I realised that all I had could go away any minute and I'd have no one. I could lose my family, my friends, so I needed to have something that could never ever be taken away from me. God is that one thing. So no amount of betrayal, loss or disappointment can make me lose hope now because I have God.

Receive Christ into your life and experience true Peace.

Lazy Days

I will never again feel bad for spending a whole Saturday (after exams) doing nothing. It suddenly occured to me that I will long for such lazy days when I have children. I had a wonderful Saturday alone in the house; not thinking about my future, not thinking about anything serious but just being. How refreshing it was even as I went out to Plaza to drool at all the lovely fabrics and colourful things they have on a rainy day...without an umbrella!

Life is too precious to spend stressing about what you don't have and complaining about what you have. Love God, love mankind, love your life and become a better person day by day. The world is messed up, but really, is your own life that bad? Are you alone, homeless, crippled, deaf and blind, absolutely naked and hungry? If you are better off than this then praise God! Even if you are not, as long as you are alive, there is hope. Pray for your loved ones and live a hope-full life.

Hi!

The truth is that if you do not write consistently, you will not improve as a writer. You cannot wait for the moment when you have just the right thing to write. I have not reached my goal for writing this year, I allowed 'life' to get between me and my pen. I'm not so sad about it but I look forward to December break; to pushing myself and developing a structure around my writing. It has to be a habit or there will be no progress. I might not be very regular on this blog, but that's because I am busy writing, and when I do visit, I hope there will be a difference in my writing. More distinct style of writing, more confidence, more maturity and ability to address issues.

Don't forget to make this Christmas meaningful for someone less fortunate than you. Spend time with them, buy them a gift, whatever is from the heart will be well appreciated. And if you do an act of kindness and you don't get a 'thank you' in return, don't be discouraged. God has seen your heart and it is he that will reward you openly.

Lots of love,

T.S.

I just want to make a difference.

On This First Wedding Anniversary

Going to the chapel and we're gonna get maa-rried, going to the chapel and we're gonna get maa-rried.....

That was my song exactly a year ago. It was an exciting time, though my mind was too much in the moment to actually feel the busyness. This time last year I was getting my makeup done and having a nervous chat with my friends and sisters in my room. What beautiful memories these are, and many thanks to God that on that day, I also looked forward to making love to my husband for the first time. I say thanks to God because hubby and I are both normal young adults with raging hormones so for us to wait for our wedding night was purely by grace. Was it worth it? 100%. Our wedding day didn't just mean "making things official", it meant sealing a covenant before God, spending the night together for the first time, and getting down for the first time! There were so many firsts that came with our marriage that the memory just brings tears to my eyes.

I got to experience marriage the way God intended. I do not take it lightly and every now and then my husband and I just recollect and talk about how blessed we both are. We enjoy each other wholly, with great appreciation for one another and gratefulness to God for our unity. And for me, my marriage is real proof that everything written in God's word is true. I speak particularly about God's salvation and his grace and mercy. If the world were to judge me based on my (not so holy) past, I would by no standards qualify to get married, let alone to have a beautiful wedding day. All I did was dare to believe God and everything else I cannot explain except to say that God is real and He is with me. It takes a personal experience to understand this truth, but thankfully God is available to all who are willing to receive him as their Lord and Saviour.

I am in awe of God's love and mercy. It has got no limits I promise you. Everything that God has done to me and for me, He can do for you, for anyone in this earth. And if you ever let him in, you will never want to go back. He fills the gap deep inside that no amount of attention, wealth or health can fill.

Praise God!

T.

The Handshake

The bible teaches us not to look down on the poor but to treat them like we would treat a rich man because the same God who created the rich man is the same one who created tho poor man.

Lately I have determined to not be one of them that read the bible and then walk away and forget what it says concerning me. That is like looking in the mirror and the moment you walk away from it you forget what you look like, and if there's any stray hair you need to put in place. So Holy Spirit has been taking me to the really hard parts of the bible; the parts that give instruction, rather than the favourite scriptures that tell me I am the head and not the tail! The scripture that says that if a man wearing a gold ring and all sorts of bling comes in, and another tattered one comes in, I should not make the tattered one sit on the floor and make the blinging one take the chair, because if I do that I am being partial, yet my God is not a partial God. Imagine if God did that, most of us would be unfavoured, because if not for God I wouldn't be royalty.

Knowing that it is through God's grace and mercy that I have a high place in His Kingdom, I thank God that he brought me to James 2:1-13 because I must confess that although I am not one of those that are 'class' conscious, when I see a beggar I tend to wish they were just not there. I now have about 15 (numbers change a lot) homeless men camping in front of my workplace and they make the whole place smell so bad. I have to hold my breath as I take the stairs up into the hall. Already I wash my hands everytime I touch surfaces in general, so you can imagine how disturbing these guys are to me. It is not even about my safety because these guys see me everyday and greet me, and call me 'sistaz' and I just don't believe that most evil comes from people like them. I have personal experiences that have made me to know that harm comes from the inside more than it does from outside. And besides, being a child of God, I am very confident about my protection and that if danger was meant to happen to me, Holy Spirit would warn me and instruct me to be elswhere or do things differently.

Today, one of the men that camp by my door offered his dry cigarette smelling hand for a handshake...and I took it and shook his hand. It's not only because I happen to work in a church, but I just became conscious of the fact that I am not here on my own, but I am representing Jesus in all I do. Jesus would never ever make anyone feel unworthy, and thats the only reason why I am alive today. If Jesus can associate himself with me as I was before He saved me, then who am I to look down on a homeless man who has this smile on his face? I shook his hand and knew deep down that I did the right thing.

Many people who care about me would never have allowed me to do that, I know. And I might have never had the guts to do that in front of them because they would ask me if I'm crazy or if I think I'm superwoman. But I lost nothing, I am safe because of God not my own smartness.

So I thought I should share this experience with you so that when you get faced with situations like these, you remember not to favour the one from high society over 'Plain Jane'. It doesn't make you a better person.

Lots of love,

T

Show Respect to ALL

Never take the importance of communication lightly, even if what someone is trying to communicate may seem trivial to you. Remember that what you feel is important might likewise seem petty to your friend/lover/parent/daughter/colleague but you would still like them to hear you out and think about what you are saying and respond. Listening is not only about doing it so that when your turn comes you will also be listened to, there is much more to it. When someone talks to you, they are expressing themselves and many times they are taking a risk because no one wants to be rejected. This means that your sensible (caring) response is very important because if you continually reject someone they will refrain from communicating in the future and will carry resentment towards you. It may not affect you but if you care about a loved one you would not want them to carry such hurt because of you.

Let us then love in deeds and not in words. Think through and realise how much influence you have on your family and friends. For the fact that they are around you, it means that your reaction to them affects them either for good or bad. We all have a responsibility to one another; to bring out the best in one another and make this world a friendly environment to all. And please don't end it with your loved ones, be good to all people and treat everyone as important. When you don't do that you might not realise it but you are basically communicating that you are better than those you look down on. And let me tell you friend, you are not better than anyone; thank God for the grace to do good to others where some fail, but see that all the credit goes to God and not yourself. Humble yourself and you will be lifted up, but dare to lift yourself up and you surely will be humbled.

This is a simple life lesson but many times 'good' people fall into the trap of thinking they are better than others and can get away with ill treating others, but it is not right. Let us all work on our human relationships with the consciousness that we are not just dealing with mere people but God's most loved beings.

Tumi Going Funny

My next short story will be on 'The Prophet'. I am very excited about this one! Experimenting with new writing styles and growing as a writer, I have the story already in my mind, I just look forward to watching it develop and unfold and mature right before my eyes. This one is a comedy mixed with some food for thought. Hope I get it right because I'm not a funny person, not into jokes at all, but I sure know how to enjoy some good quality humor Shakespeare style!

Nameless Woman... Again

Remember I wrote about some lady who was asking me for R100 at FNB (bank), well it turns out she lied. I saw her again at the bank, this time sitting outside with her two children. I think she is sincerely stranded but what she said about her car needing petrol... well that must have been a lie because here in Johannesburg, beggars don't drive cars. The broke people with cars have a back up plan of some sort.

I felt sad for her because I can see that she has some dignity, she does not beg in the most obvious way, and her head is turned downs when she asks, like she is embarassed. Her children are so adorable (Coloured, as in a race in South Africa) and the whole scene is just heartbreaking. I wonder if she would have bought food for her children if I had given her the R100 rands, or if she would have bought alcohol to drown her many sorrows.

Well I didn't help her in anyway so I should not torment myself with thoughts of her and how I think she lives. I must get her out of my mind because I will just end up condemning myself for seeing a woman in need and not helping her. What can be done with the situation of ... I don't want to say beggras, too demeaning ... of desperate, homeless people? My concern is that giving them money is not sustainable, a woman like that with clean clothes on herself and her children, no perfume but smelling clean, a woman like that has some hope in her. She probably does have a place where she lives, because I know the smell of living in the streets, I have some people sleeping by the doorstep of my workplace. She has not that pungent smell.

I think that she needs her hope to be reignited by God. And after that, when she decides that only God can help her and she does have a future and a responsibility to her children, after she recognises that then she needs support with food and clothing for herself and her children. And she will also need counseling and to be reminded that though her children are not in school, she must teach them herself, counting, colours, all the things she is able to teach them and she must believe God for a turnaround. After that she will be in a better position to restructure her life and look for a job or start a business.

There is a way out, because as long as you are living, there is hope for you. Unfortunately with the resources i have, the time and funds as well as the know-how, I am not at this phase able to implement this idea to help my nameless woman. See how I now attach her to myself. She refuses to leave my mind.

Gym? I Don't Wanna Hear It.

Do we understand the reason why we need to keep healthy? To eat right and exercise? The way we react to this issue does not convince me that we as people really understand the importance of a balanced diet and exercise. We know very well the importance of looking good and that's why we make sure we do the "three step cleansing" and wear those super high platform shoes. We are informed and therefore we act on the information we know about fashion.

That is expected of a literate being like you and I; to use our knowledge base to influence our decisions. Why then is it that when it comes to the most important issues like our health, we refuse to act like intelligent, learned people? We read article after article about the latest research on cancer, on health and so on and we say to everyone, "I'm going on a protein diet" or, "I need to start going to gym" - we say all these pretty things but never do we lift a finger to actually do them. It seems to me that we don't take our health seriously enough, perhaps because we do not see the results of our poor habits...yet.

It's time that we start doing whatever we can to invest in our health; drinking more water wont take a cent out of you. Eating less portions if we are trying to lose weight will even save us some. And adding fruits and veges and taking it easy on the oil isn't such a difficult thing now is it? Gym. Well, no need to sign up at virgin active just yet, develop consistency first in your lounge. Do the sit ups, push ups, kickboxing etc. in your own lounge for 15 minutes everyday and tell me if you don't notice a difference! I am doing exactly that and am sooo excited that investing only 15minutes each day to exercise is giving me such returns! I do plan on taking it up a notch after a month.

The key to developing any good habit is in consistency, so rather than doing a lot once every week, do a little each day and see just how much your body will thank you!

I love you all and share these things with you so that we can all improve our health together, there's no fun in being the only hot mama at 70 now is there? ;)

I must add that as a woman, even your reproductive system will dance for joy at your new commitment to your health! I will not get into details about that because I want you to try it for yourself and tell me what happens ;).

Peace.

Nothing

There is so much to say, but it's not every time that your heart is full that you should pour it out, sometimes you have to wait. Today I have to wait because if I were to talk about what's in my heart, it would be like feeding you raw guava. It's good for no one. Let's allow the fruit to ripen a little but not to ferment. Old news is sour to the tongue, that's why we can't live on old revelation. There is something fresh available each day, each season, each year, because nothing in this world stays the same but God alone. Love TS